"It’s been a long time since I’ve felt right"
I hate being me. On Saturday I opened up another Short Term Disability claim & tried to call the emergency line of my psychs office bc I was/am breaking down. He wasnt on call but I found out from the on call Dr. that he wont even be in the office until the following wk(on vacation). I feel like What About Bob with my stressing that I haven’t got to talk to him. Its irrational & stupid even tho that movie is hysterical. Anyway my Dr. previously agreed to fill out FMLA paperwork for me for at least intermittent leave but then after being told from my employer that I qualified for 96 hrs they were like oh you have 96 hrs to use but you cant use them until youve worked 1250 hrs. Fml so I kept working towards the 1250 but Im only now at 1021 & Im spent. It feels like Im being suffocated the minute I walk in the door. Its like that w the mall & I used to love shopping. My anxiety & depression has taken over & ruined my life.
Should’ve had a v8!
Filling out job applications & I think its prolly best I stop for the night. I was in the midst of applying for two positions. One for a Senior Living Community Relations Diirector & one for an admin at an Animal Hospital. On the Senior Living app theres a question Motivation for Job Change? My answer: Face to face customer service & love of animals. & yes I submitted it.
"This is not Art.
This is Falling Apart.
There is no beauty
In being broken."